#I can get mad at Soman for so many more things now!

[nothing-to-see-hi]

Guess who got the handbook!!!

Me, it's me.

[devourer--of--books]

I’m mad about Hunter being written off and here’s why you should be too

You: wasted potential.

Me, an intellectual: ah, Hunter and Nicola’s friendship

I have strong opinions about Hunter.

Yeah, you heard me right.

Look, I have strong opinions about many, many, things. Today, we are taking a dive on Hunter and Nicola. First I’d like to blame this post on Kate, as I decided to make it after I tried to articulate why Hunter being written off TCY makes me so angry in a huge comment under her latest OTK post but it ended up being too big and messy so I deleted it. I don’t think I’ve seen anyone elaborate on it, so if you were also mad about this, bro, not to be intense, but like, are we soulmates or...??

Before anything else, as I usually do with my text posts (which I haven’t done in a while, opsies), I shall provide you with arguably unnecessary context. Sit down, grab yourself some snacks, make yourself at home, I’m about to rant you into oblivion.

Since I know many accounts weren’t around back then, I’ll also give you the socio-political vibes of the time period, as any self-respecting half-baked essay written last minute should.

POV, you’re 14/15 year-old me. You flat iron your hair, you don’t use sunscreen, you think you’re straight and your school makes you wear those horrid low rise uniform pants, but at least you can somewhat do your make-up decently now that you grew out of your emo phase.

The year was 2016. The Ever Never Handbook has just come out. You re-watch the handbook trailer on youtube for the fifteenth time. Everyone is losing their minds over OcTObeR 14tH and “a student named Agatha ~ now Agatha of Camelot~”, as well as the portraits and the teasing for a new SGE book. Quests For Glory is announced just a few days later. 2016 tagatha ship week happens a few months down the line. 

This is the SGE Tumblr Fandom Peak.

Now, let’s start right there, two-ish weeks after the release of the Handbook, right as the QFG announcement comes out.

We all knew Soman wasn’t done with SGE after TLEA. He definitely had been teasing something in his weekly blogs (lol, remember when I used to check the blog, what a time to be alive) and once we got the ENH, we got quite lot of info to theorize. Here’s some that I can think off the top of my head: 

- The coven was going on a mission to find a new School Master.

- Tedros and Agatha were struggling financially in Camelot but were going to get married soon (even if Sophie doubted Tedros would have asked Agatha yet, as of the time of the Ever Never RoundTable, but we’re taking that with a grain of salt, because she was written to sound jealous here, and I won’t acknowledge that kinda of bs, she is happy for her friends okay, we’ve been though this-)

- Sophie had completely remodeled the School For Evil and was getting on Dovey and the rest of the faculty’s nerves (except for newly hired history teacher, Hort).

- The rest of the supporting cast had just graduated third year and was to be off in quests soon.

- The School was now accepting applications, and two of those applicants are Nicola and Bogden.

Now, I’m not even gonna bring up how it was mentioned in a video in EverNeverTv that Bogden would be an important character in TCY, and yet, I can’t think of anything relevant about him other than the fact that he knew tarot apparently, or how his application had more personality than him in the entire series, or how he was basically there so we could look at him and Willam and be like “oh, representation”, or how he’d be a good insight on how Galvadon perceives Sophie and Agatha post-TLEA, or- I’m just not gonna.

Oh, no. Instead, we are here to discuss Nicola’s application.

If your memory is foggy, let me remind you:

Nicola’s application is submitted, according to the Handbook, by her friend, Hunter. For convenience sake, we’ll assume Hunter is a guy (I’ll tell you why Hunter being a guy works better for me in a bit), but his gender is not mentioned anywhere in the ENH. I don’t think he has been gendered in any version (correct me if I’m wrong) or if there are any pronouns for him during TCY, but I’m fairly confident he isn’t mentioned at all.

Hunter tells us he is applying on Nic’s behalf, as she’d never apply for herself. He mentions that she is more or less the Galvadon equivalent of an activist for women’s rights, founding a rugby unisex team and campaigning for pants instead of skirts for the local school uniform, as well as having a feminist sounding book as her favorite book. It’s heavily implied that she is a jock, as he lists that, if marooned on a desert island, Nicola would want to have a soccer ball, a hockey stick and a set of dumbbells (“and none of this 5-lb nonsense”) with her.

Upon asked why Nicola should go to the school, his answer is: “because there’s a greater place for her in the world, where she can learn a girl’s true worth, and I don’t think it’s here.”

Then you have a note from (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) the very late, long, long gone, absolutely dead, August Sader, telling the Deans to accept her application, despite having no reason to do so, as Nicola was to “play a crucial role in it’s [the school’s] survival.” Dovey and Sophie agree to flip a coin to decide which school will take her, which Sophie must have lost, as Nicola is accepted into the School For Evil.

By now, I think we all agree that Nicola was done dirty. If you check my QFG re-read you’ll notice that I complained about her there. As I had to go though her introduction chapter again to make this post, let me tell you why: Nicola wasn’t written to be likeable.

She simply wasn’t. That’s the one conclusion I can draw. Whether that’s intentional or not, I can’t tell, but the backlash she received was fairly useful, as it meant Soman could write her off the main story without much backlash from his target audience (aka, not us, pesky pretentious older readers).

The Nicola I was introduced to, not only in the Handbook but on her trailer for QFG was not the girl on QFG. 

Nic is there to be the smart  girl™, and while I do appreciate having a character who is a bit cocky about their brains, it just doesn’t work well there. Because her bond to other characters and the way she earns their respect feels so weak, she just comes across as pretentious. Characters like Hester and Agatha, who are supposed to be smart, feel dumbed down to show us how clever Nicola is. Agatha is supposed to be the resourceful thinker and Hester wanted to be class captain, you bet she studied like crazy, she probs knows every fairytale in existence. 

Then you add that to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Nicola and Hort fiasco and Nic feels like a weirdly written OC insert.

Handbook!Nicola sounded like a smart jock kind of character (read, more Gryffindor than Ravenclaw). Handbook!Nic was a Reader who read the tales as a hobby, but her favorite book is not a tale, it’s a non-fiction book (as far as I can tell). She might not be the fairytale expert, but she sounds like a practical thinker, as sport requires strategy, which is not Hester’s strong suit, given she is rather impulsive, or Agatha’s, given she is often unwilling to make hard decisions due to her Good nature and her own insecurities. C’mon, Handbook!Nic would have taken one look at Hort and sent him running to hills, because she would be able to smell his bs three miles away. She’s no one’s replacement, least of all Sophie’s (whom she probably would not have gotten along with (at least they got this part right) given Sophie’s “my prince will sweep me away from an ordinary life” phylosophy). To be honest she doesn’t sound like she’d be interested in dating at all.

But this post is about Hunter right? Let me remind you, Hunter is not mentioned in Nicola’s introduction, when she talks about her life in Galvadon. Canon!Nicola tells us that she has two brothers who want to inherit her father’s pub in order to sell the place, but Nicola is close with her father and likes working there to some extent, even if she has bigger ambitions. She believes her brothers sent her application as a way to get rid of her.

Back when I still had some faith that Soman had an arc for Nicola that included resolution, I had my theories as to why she wouldn’t mention Hunter: maybe he was to appear in later books and they’d have a huge backstory explaining their friendship, as well as a dramatic confession that Hunter sent her application because he felt Nicola deserved to live an adventure, and Nicola would either realize that she was meant for something more or that she wanted to live a quiet life, honestly either would be nice. I would have taken anything. Truly, if Nicola’s k-pop boyfriend in the OTK epilogue had been replaced with Hunter, I might be able to hate it less.

Especially if they came to the (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) school wedding as friends. Because you know what?

We are starved for male-female friendships in the SGE universe.

Tedros’s only female friends (all his friends in general) are Agatha’s friends (who all tried to get rid of him at some point, save for maybe Dot) and his actual friends are all dead (Bettina/Chaddick). Hort could be counted as Agatha’s friend, if only he didn’t bash her every five seconds like a moron (he literally pitched the idea that Agatha should be executed by Tedros in OTK, just because he was envious or her relationship with Sophie (not jealous, envious, because Sophie wasn’t his to begin with)) over his delusional sense entitlement of Sophie’s affections (which I hate, but as this is not a Hort-bashing post, I won’t get too much into), but the coven, Beatrix, Renna and co. would not touch him with a stick. Merlin’s friendship with Lady Of The Lake is gone, and Dovey is dead. Rhian and Kei both had that frenemies thing with Sophie in ACOT/beggining of OTK, but I think it was supposed to be romantic? It wasn’t ew (I hate Rhian but he’s also wasted potential, and so was Kei, whom I liked, rest in peace). Japeth hates women for??? Whatever. Willam and Bodgen are such background characters I could not care less about them. The new students weren’t memorable enough for me to remember their names. I think this about covers the main male cast.

There’s a lack of male friendships too, but we kinda have (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) Tort and whatever was that rushed Tedros/Chaddick friendship.  Rhian and Kei were gay friends (yeah, right, sure, very platonic). Tedros and Rhian could have been friends if Rhian redeemed himself, but otherwise no. Tedros and Filip… gay. Japeth literally killed Rhian, so also not very good friendship between brothers. Hort has no friends, because Ravan would so not be here for his bs. Willam and Bogden are a couple and (*rolls eyes* *suppresses a gag* *tears hair out*) so were Aric and Japeth, I guess.

Still don’t believe Hunter was wasted potential? Okay, let me tell you what my ideal Nicola arc would be, mixing Handbook!Nicola with some canon!Nicola and including Hunter.

- Nicola is the one inheriting the pub (once she gets married), despite Galvadon’s pre-TLEA sexism and conservative views, because she is her father’s only child and her brothers are actually her older half-siblings from her mother’s previous marriage.

- Her mom died at some point early in her childhood. Not a childbirth tho, because Callis, local witch gynecologist (have you checked my post on this yet? no? you should) was there for her, even if it was a high risk pregnancy because the mom was already older.

- Because of that, Nicola’s father actually sells bread to Callis for cheaper prizes, but don’t tell the elders, shhh

- Anyway, because her mom was gone so early, Nicola was raised by her dad, brothers and by the employees (mostly men, as I don’t think it was all that common for women to work jobs in Galvadon) of her father’s pub. Due to being a girl, most guys weren’t willing to befriend her (sexism, am I right), but because she was a tomboy she had difficulty bonding with the other girls at school, even when they weren’t outright hostile (cof cof Sophie). 

- Example: she and Belle had a tentative bond over their love of cooking, but often ran out of things to talk about and the conversation fell flat.

- Which is how she ends up befriending Hunter. 

- Hunter is the only boy in a family of many girls and his father works all day. He has a good heart and is rather emotional, but he always feels like he has something to prove, which leads him to being rather impulsive. Both Nicola and Hunter love sports and are very competitive people. Once Nicola gains his respect, he feels very protective of her and often feels the need to stand up for her, even if she doesn’t need it.

- Nicola knows Hunter feels overlooked in his family, so she is always inviting him over and taking care of him, keeping him out of trouble. Her father begins to see him as his own son, and soon he spends more time at Nicola’s house than at his own.

- Everyone thinks they’ll get married some day. His sisters tease him mercilessly about it, and so does Nic’s father, but frankly, Nic and Hunter see each other as family.

- You can bet Hunter is the one teaching Nic about periods after asking his sisters, so she wouldn’t have to suffer with Galvadon’s horrid Sex Ed. (go check the Callis headcanon’s okay, give me clout, that it my favorite post I’ve ever made)

- They tried to kiss once. Nicola vomited and Hunter gaged.

- Hunter is Nicola’s number one supporter and fan, 100% had those gender-equality pins she made for her campaigns all over his bags and jackets.

- Since most wedding matches are arranged by the elders before girls even graduate, it was settled that Nic and Hunter would get married to each other and then inherit the pub. It would of course, be a secretly platonic match and they would suspiciously have no children (Nicola even had a plan to visit Callis to get a potion for infertility, just in case the elders wanted to check on her... okay, I’ll stop).

- Hunter doesn’t tell her, but Nicola knows he wants to marry for love and have a family of his own. She tries to talk him out of marrying her, but he insists that he would be doing it out of love for her, even if not romantic, because Nic didn’t deserve to be matched up with some stranger she barely knows who would no doubt be less tolerant of her more radical views.

- She tells him it’d be fine for him to have a affairs then, but he insists he would never do that to her, because people would talk about Nic if that was the case and her reputation would be ruined.

- The night of Sophie and Agatha kidnapping Nicola tells him she would rather be taken to the School than to stay there and make him live an unhappy life.

- Hunter is horrified (remember, everyone thought going to the school was a fate worse than death) and makes her promise to never treat her life so fickly.

- Sophie and Agatha get taken, come back, but during Tedros’ reign of terror in Galvadon, right before they return to the Woods, Nicola’s father grows very very sick.

- Nic thinks he’s going to die, and she frets, not only because they’re close but also because she can’t inherit the place if she doesn’t marry Hunter. But, well, she sort of always knew, but now that feels very real, she thought she had some more time before that.

- They set a date for the wedding, but thankfully, Tedros and Agatha’s escape ends up causing the ceremony to be delayed.

- By the time the new date is set, there’s no more elders and Stefan is now mayor.

- But just because he is the mayor doesn’t mean the law and the sexism is gone overnight.

- Nic’s father is getting somewhat better, but she is still very worried about him, because of his old age.

- Once SGE starts having applications and has been proved to be, well, somewhat safe, Hunter suggests that Nicola applies, but after the scare that she might lose her father sooner rather than later, she tells him she can’t bring herself to leave him.

- Hunter doesn’t want her to throw her life away, specially now knowing that in the Endless Woods there were people like her and that progress would get there before it ever got to Galvadon 

- (He also wants to not marry someone he views as a sister, pls).

- So he files her application in secret.

- Nicola gets accepted, upon Sader’s request and Sophie’s bad luck, into the School For Evil. She and Sophie still don’t get along, the Evil castle rejects her and she gets pushed to Good, becoming an Ever, but she’s only staying until Christmas, because she is worried sick about her father.

- She thinks the application was a plot from her brothers because she doesnt think Hunter would ever betray her trust like that, after she specifically told him she wouldn't go.

- There’s no Hicola, instead, she and Hort become friends and she talks him out of his delusions with Sophie, because as much as Nicola dislikes her, Sophie was a girl too, and deserved to have her feelings respected. 

- She also punches Hort into giving up his envy of Tedros and Agatha while at it, because she is just that efficient.

- Everything else up to OTK can be pretty much the same because I can’t remember what happens, other than everytime Nicola is smart girl™, it’s not “because she reads”, but because she is practical. 

- Example: on the boat scene where she very pretentiously sasses Agatha for not saying hello to her (canon!Nicola, girl, she just suffered six months of loneliness at Camelot because Tedros shut her out and is now on a quest to save her happy ending, probs didn’t get much sleep, maybe cut her some slack) and then tells her how to sail a boat (despite the fact that there are no boats in Galvadon and I’m sure you can’t just read Peter Pan and learn to sail a boat, unless I did it wrong or something, maybe the storian version comes with a crash course). Here, instead, Nicola presses Hort (who is a pirate’s son) to remember literally anything to help them (therefore making him not completely useless on this quest), and he does and they tell Agatha and she’s like sure and does it.

- Now, in OTK, I literally can’t remember where Nicola was for most of it and I read that book not too long ago, so I’m worried. 

- Okay, so, have the Knights Of Eleven actually serve some purpose, include a scene where Tedros and Nicola stress-play rugby and get her some internal conflict.

- Nic now loves this world. She just spent the last few weeks fighting to protect it. She is now a Knight, and she loves the adventures and the new friends she made. Can she really go back to Gavaldon to take care of a pub? Well, she needs to, doesn’t she? That’s what a good daughter would do.

- After Japeth’s execution, Nic goes straight home.

- Her father’s condition is stable, as he is being treated by Hunter and his new wife.

- Oh boy, Hunter has some explaining to do.

- Nicola is furious that he broke her trust, but at the same time, she’s happy he’s happy and well, Hunter what do you have to say for yourself?

- “Damn, Nic, nice armour- ouch, my arm!”

- Apparently, since Nicola was taken, Stefan approved a law for people to be able to leave their inheritance to whomever they wanted. And since Nic was gonna be at the Woods, her father was more than happy to leave it to Hunter. Of course, unless Nicola wanted to stay at Gavaldon. 

- Does she? She’s not sure.

- Hunter and Nicola attend the tagatha wedding at Camelot (what, like I wasn’t gonna fix this part?), Hunter is Nic’s plus one.

- There, Hester, Anadil and Dot show her Sader’s note, and ask her, not to become School Master, but to become Dean Of Good, because she would be perfect for the new brand of Good to match Sophie’s Evil. You know, since she is all for gender-equality, good manners, practicality and was particularly good at dealing with Sophie’s bs.

- Since Tedros has the Storian Ring, the pen doesn’t need actual protection, well, not more than it can get from Nic and Sophie.

- Sophie herself insists that Nicola accept the position, not because she doesn’t want to be alone at the school now that Hort and Dovey are dead, no, of course not, since when did Sophie ever need anyone, she was just asking cause… cause Nicola looked lonely. The pretty boy who came with her was not her boyfriend, was he? Sophie was prettier than him anyway. Who needs a boy when they can have her?

- Whether they become a couple or not, I’ll let you decide.

- Bonus: years later, Hunter’s eldest daughter is accepted at the School for Good. Nicola is her godmother, and her favoritism shows.

There, if nothing else, the reason you should be mad about Hunter and the Handbook in general is because this didn’t happen.

[thebookishgoddess]

#Project14Lists 2018: Bookish Ships

My first post for the #Project14Lists bookish event is a list of my bookish ships! I know, controversial. Not everyone ships the canon couple, or ships that one character with anyone at all. Nevertheless, we are all here to express our love for books and the couples that our favorite authors have written, not to throw shade or spill the tea on each other’s ships. We are all trash for something, and we must respect each other’s trash (if that makes any sense, haha!)

For today’s list, I will be putting up twelve of my favorite bookish ships and my favorite fanart of them (with credits to the brilliant artists, of course!). There are waaaay too many ships that I love, if I’m being realistic here. But I got lazy after the 12th graphic I had to edit up for this. I’ll be dabbling on my favorite quotes/scenes of the ships and a little reaction to said quote or scene.

Let the fangirling commence!

Cover photo credit: johannathemad

1. Thomas Creswell & Audrey Wadsworth from the Stalking Jack the Ripper series by Kerri Maniscalco

Favorite Quote/Scene: “You are not mine to take.” He brushed his lips against mine. Softly, so softly I might have imagined them there. My eyes fluttered shut. He could persuade me to build a steamship to the moon when he kissed me. We could orbit the stars together. “You are yours to give.” --Hunting Prince Dracula

Are you bloody kidding me with that? Honestly, Thomas and Audrey is on the top ten of my favorite ships of all time simply because of that scene alone. This scene shows how much Thomas values Audrey as his equal and partner despite all the mayhem they went through. Also because Thomas Cresswell is every girl’s #bookboyfriendgoals because he’s suave af. I WILL SHIP IT TO MY GRAVE.

Art by phantomrin

2. Elias Veturius & Laia of Serra from the Ember Quartet by Sabaa Tahir

Favorite Quote/Scene: Laia is curled in a ball on the other, one hand on her armlet, fast asleep. 

"You are my temple", I murmur as I kneel beside her. "You are my priest. You are my prayer. You are my release." --A Torch Against the Night

SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. Do men like Elias Veturius even exist in the 21st Century? Hells no. Well, maybe, but the probability of one existing is about 1 to a million, so there’s that. I have never been so moved by such a simple statement, especially since that mantra is supposed to be Elias’s mantra to like, what was it? His honor in fighting for the Empire? But when he said that to Laia, it’s the same level of honor and I’m just so emotional about that?? What even?? How dare Sabaa?? 

Art by gabriella.bujdoso

11. Draco Malfoy & Astoria Greengrass from the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

Favorite Quote/Scene: DRACO: Which is why you need this [time-turner]. I have been holding onto it, barely resisting using it, even though I would sell my soul for another minute with Astoria.

DRACO: You [speaking to his son, Scorpius] know what I loved most about your mother [Astoria]? She could always help me find light in the darkness. She made the world — my world, anyway — less — what was the word you used — “murky.”  

--Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

CAN WE JUST TALK ABOUT DRACO MALFOY FOR A HOT MINUTE? This man, who firmly believes himself hopeless soon after the Battle of Hogwarts ended, gets the happiest gift of all by having some girl named Astoria Greengrass see the good in him and love him for who he is. If that isn’t the best trope in a ship, I don’t know what is! We know nothing about Astoria other than the fact that she’s some obscure sister of yet another obscure classmate of Draco’s named Daphne. And yet, she seemed one of the most integral characters to me in Cursed Child when Draco said that he resisted using the time-turner to see his dead wife. 

Let’s not forget how when Scorpius time-traveled to a VoldemortWins!AU that Draco still ends up with Astoria. I think that’s what so beautiful about Draco and Astoria. They’re such a minor couple in the background of Hinny and Romione, but they carry so much history we’ve yet to know thanks to their darling cinnamon roll of a son, Scorpius. Anyone who truly knows me is already knowledgeable of the fact that I cry over this ship on a daily basis. And I’m sorry again that I had to cry and make one heck of a long description for this ship because they’re my ultimate fave *ugly sobs*.

Art by blvnk-art

4. Cress Darnell & Carswell Thorne from The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer

Favorite Quote/Scene:

“Captain?“ “Cress.“ She couldn’t not say it, although she realized he was right. It was sort of scary. Much scarier than it had been the first time she’d told him, out in the desert. It was different now. It was real. "I’m in love with you.” He chuckled. “I should hope so, after all that.” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss against her temple. “And I love you too.” --Winter

FIRST OF ALL, WHAT THE ACTUAL FORK I AM SCREECHING OVER THAT. That scene was probably one of the most memorable scenes I’ve read in the last installment of the Lunar Chronicles. Forget how Levana died and all was well. I cannot help but forget this very scene that sets every other couple in the series apart because of how well-written and developed these two were together. Right now, I am super tempted to re-read the Lunar Chronicles, just for the heck of rereading Cresswell (the ship name) all over again. 

Art by vvivaa

5. Tedros & Agatha from The School for Good and Evil series by Soman Chainani

Favorite Quote/Scene: “But you are my queen. No one but you. And I like seeing you wear it. Because as long as you do, I know you still love me. And given our history of miscommunication, physical cues are helpful.” --The Last Ever After

I absolutely adore Tedros and Agatha. I have been rooting for them since day one of this series and I will never stop (even if Soman highkey tore them apart in Quests for Glory, for shame). They’re probably the most realistic couple to me, if there was a better word for it? Miscommunication definitely happens a lot between these two because Tedros can be pretty dense sometimes and Agatha can be quite arrogant. But I always love how they come together in the end to work it out because that’s what most couples do--they fight, but they don’t lose sight of what’s really important to them. Tedros and Agatha physically embodies those kind of relationships and I am absolutely here for it. Soman needs to stop hurting me after Quests for Glory though because Tedros and Agatha being apart up until Crystal of Time physically hurts me askhjsfkhja.

Art by thevioleteuphonia

6. Nina Zenik & Matthias Helvar from the Six of Crows duology by Leigh Bardugo

Favorite Quote/Scene:

“I am grateful you're alive", he said. "I am grateful that you're beside me. I am grateful that you're eating." 

She rested her head on his shoulder. 

"You're better than waffles, Matthias Helvar." 

A small smile curled the Fjerdan's lips. 

"Let's not say things we don't mean, my love.” --Crooked Kingdom

I AM STILL HIGHKEY MAD FOR WHAT LEIGH DID TO THIS SHIP. I won’t say more, but I will say that this is the most painful ship to have ever sailed and I will never get over it. But also the sweetest and well-crafted because of how much these two characters developed over the course of two books. Granted, Nina and Matthias had their history together before the Dregs, but even without it, Leigh wrote them in a way that makes you believe they really are meant for each other in the end despite all adversity. I’m happy Nina is likely going to get a female love interest in Leigh’s installment on Prince Nikolai’s story, though her being with Matthias will always have a special place in my heart.

Art by nilaffle

7. Lira & Elian Midas from To Kill A Kingdom by Alexandra Christo

Favorite Scene/Quote:

“If you get shot,” Lira says, “I’m going to treat you like you’re incapable of doing the simplest tasks.” 

She cradles her arms around her knees to keep out the cold. 

“See how you like it when I hold out my arm to help you walk, even though you’re not shot in the leg.” 

“I’d be flattered,” I say, “that you would look for an excuse just to hold my hand.” 

“Perhaps I’m just looking for an excuse to shoot you.” --To Kill a Kingdom

I love a good “do I want to kill you or kiss you, it’s interchangeable” trope between couples, and when it comes to Lira and Elian, they pretty much seal the deal on that kind. Lira, the princess siren, is pretty much a cray murderer that takes people’s hearts and Elian is a prince-pirate that’s set to destroy her and kill her for good. I mean, it can’t get any more angst and interesting than that. The way they slowly develop in this standalone is very intriguing because not a lot of authors can pull off a realistic romance fantasy the way Alexandra Christo did. I just absolutely love Lira and Elian, their funny banters and their angst. They’re the kind of ship I would sail forever, really.

Art by silketara

8. Ron Weasley & Hermione Granger from the Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling

There was a clatter as the basilisk fangs cascaded out of Hermione's arms. Running at Ron, she flung them around his neck and kissed him full on the mouth. Ron threw away the fangs and broomstick he was holding and responded with such enthusiasm that he lifted Hermione off her feet. --Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

CONTROVERSY. But seriously, I absolutely adore and love Ron and Hermione together because of their balance as a couple. There are times where Ron will be street smart and there are times (but most of the time) where Hermione will be book smart. Plus, I definitely think they need each other at times to get off their own high horses because we all know Hermione can be a wee bit intense and Ron can be a wee bit ignorant, but that’s the beauty of them balancing each other out. And that particular favorite scene I just showed proved just how far their relationship as more than friends have come. I practically squealed the first time I read their first kiss scene!

Plus, have you seen them in Cursed Child? I know hardly anyone considers it canon, but adult Ron and Hermione are the cutest ship to squeal at in that book--which seems to be one of the very few good things that book had ever produced. 

Art by johannathemad

9. Elain Archeron & Lucien Vanserra from the A Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J. Maas

Favorite Scene/Quote: Lucien’s hands slackened at his sides. His voice broke as he whispered to Elain, “You’re my mate.” --A Court of Mist and Fury

Here we go, y’all. Another controversial ship. Let me just say that I want Elain to be happy, and whether it’s with Azriel or Lucien or by herself, I’m totally down for that. I just simply love the idea of Elain and Lucien together because of how actual smol beans they both are. Elain, our sweet flower girl and Seer with Lucien, our soft and loyal Fae--I mean, honestly. If I’m weak for ships that want to kill each other, I’m also weak for ships that have the softest hearts. I think they both have their own struggles and I definitely think they’ll grow from those struggles together. 

We all know what happened in ACOFAS and how Elain pretty much snubbed Lucien, but I still have high hopes for them. Maas has a plethora of novels coming out for the minor characters of the ACOTAR series, and I’m betting Elain and Lucien will get their moment in one of those novels. I haven’t lost hope yet! I mean, I bought magnetic bookmarks of these two, so it’s pretty clear I want these two to be endgame, haha!

Art by embaileyart

10. Nesta Archeron & Cassian from the A Court of Thorns and Roses series by Sarah J. Maas

Favorite Quote/Scene: Cassian grunted in pain, but lifted his bloodied hands - to cup her face. “I have no regrets in my life but this.” His voice shook with every word. “That we did not have time. That I did not have time with you, Nesta.”

She didn’t stop him as he leaned up and kissed her - lightly. As much as he could manage. --A Court of Wings and Ruin

I think the whole, if not all, of the ACOTAR fandom can agree that Nesta and Cassian are endgame through and through. Judging by that intense moment alone as per the scene presented above, I can pretty much say that while they both have a long way to go, the foundation has already been built from there. I mean, come on, people! They were willing to get killed by the King of Hybern if it meant protecting each other. If that isn’t squeal-fangirl factor trying to protect each other from some evil war lord, I don’t know what is!

Art by meabhd

11. America Singer & Maxon Schreave from The Selection series by Kiera Cass

Favorite Quote/Scene: “Break my heart. Break it a thousand times if you like. It was only ever yours to break anyway.” --The One

My high school fangirlish heart is exploding with memories of how much I loved America and Maxon back then, and I still do! This single sentence above said by Maxon says so much about how far he and America have come together through the adversities faced during the Selection and the rebellions that came with it from the people of Illea. Their love story is definitely one for the ages. While it’s your typical poor girl marries rich prince story, they’re definitely worth the remarkable development they’ve have over the course of three beautiful books.

Art by marimari999

12. Arin & Kestrel from the The Winner’s Curse trilogy by Marie Rutkoski

Favorite Quote/Scene: She turned to look at him, and he was already looking at her. 

“I’m going to miss you when I wake up,” she whispered, because she realized that she must have fallen asleep under the sun. Arin was too real for her imagination. He was a dream.

“Don’t wake up,” he said. --The Winner’s Crime

I’m in slight tears because I still remember this scene in the second book. The scene wasn’t actually real, but a dream that Kestrel had after months of being separated from Arin by some messed up duty to her country. Y’all have no idea the struggle these two had before they finally got their happily ever after (they did, just a little heads up for any hopefuls wanting to read the trilogy). This scene definitely gave me a sense of the impending tragedy of them being together (and yes, there’s also a forbidden love trope, sign me tf up, amiright), but it was a momentary bliss to everything that’s been happening during the course of when that scene happened. I absolutely adore Kestrel and Arin, and I’m so mad very few people have read of them or the series ahhhh.

Art by taylordraws

Phew! That was a lot of ships and hunting down for their quotes. Admittedly, I had some trouble with looking for scenes/quotes and that’s actually a perfect opportunity for me to start bookmarking my favorite parts of a book.

Aside from the struggles, though, I’d love to hear some of your favorite bookish ships, whether we ship the same thing or not. It’s always interesting to hear someone else’s point of view of ships, especially ones where our ships contradict. Feel free to sound off in the comments below!

[musicislife1396]

This tag was created by Sam @ Thoughts on Tomes and I think it’s great because it gives me the opportunity to rant about stuff, so I’m down.

1. Half of the lights on the Christmas tree are burnt out : Name a book/series/character that started out good but then went downhill

  For this I’m gonna go with  Red Queen  by Victoria Aveyard. I was okay with the first book. I enjoyed it. But then Glass Sword happened. And we all know how that went (if you don’t, then you can check out my rant about it).

2. Annoying Great Aunt Sally who will not leave you alone : Name a book that you didn’t enjoy, but everyone else seems to love so it never goes away

Caraval by Stephanie Garber. I hate it. I hate it so much (I have a rant about that as well) and so many people love it. I know there are people who hate it too, but it was even nominated for the Goodreads Choice Awards… what? What? I just can’t. I’m sorry, but how even? That book is a waste of paper. Trees were killed for nothing printing that.

3. Your pets keep knocking over the Christmas decoration : Name a character that kept messing things up for everyone else (can’t pick a villain!)

The guy from The Wrath and the Dawn. What’s his name? I can’t remember. The childhood friend. He was just in the way. He didn’t really do much in the book and when he did, he messed things up. Just stop it guy. Tariq? I think that was his name.

4. You hear your parents putting out the presents and learn Santa isn’t real: Name a book you were spoiled for

Hmm… I don’t know. I don’t think I’ve really been spoiled for any books. At least not in any major way. Maybe Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince cause I knew about Dumbledore. But I can’t really think of anything else. I’ve been pretty good at avoiding spoilers.

5. It’s freezing outside: Name a main character you just couldn’t connect with

Any of the characters in the Inheritance series. I just could not get them at all. Also the girls from The School for Good and Evil by Soman Chainani. I enjoyed the story. And I even liked the characters, I just didn’t feel very connected to them. Same goes for the eponymous Sabriel by Garth Nix. I enjoyed the book and the characters were good, but they just didn’t click with me.

6. Mariah Carey’s ‘All I Want for Christmas is You’ and it’s giving you anti-romantic feelings : Name a couple you couldn’t stand

Scarlett and… whatever his name from Caraval by Stephanie Garber. I hated everything about that book, not least of all the romance.

All the relationships in Stealing Snow by Danielle Paige. Another waste of paper and one of the worst cases of insta-love and love polygons in the history of YA.

Chaol and Celaena from Throne of Glass. I just do not like that couple. I just don’t.

7. That scratchy homemade wool sweater you got for Christmas years ago but won’t get rid of : show some books that have been sitting on your shelves for a while, and you aren’t motivated to read, but you don’t have the heart to get rid of

Oooh boy. I have so many. But I’m a book hoarder. To be fair, a lot of these I didn’t buy and they aren’t strictly speaking mine, so probably once I settle down somewhere for more than one year at a time and decide to move all my books from my parent’s house, I’ll leave some of those behind. But anyway, here are some books that I own and just don’t have any interest in reading (and I will focus on books that I own personally, whether I bought them for myself or received them, but I won’t mention the books that are technically my family’s books, but because I’m the only person in my family who consistently reads, they’re mine).

Inheritance by Christpher Paolini. I’m actually considering donating this, because it’s just taking up space and I’m never going to read it. Ever.

Clancy of the Undertow by Christopher Curie. Again, 0 interest in this book. I won it in a giveaway that I don’t even know why I entered. Probably will end up giving that one away as well.

The Odyssey by Homer. I’ve had this for a couple of years and I just never feel like picking it up. I do want to read it eventually, so I’m going to keep it. But I just have no motivation to read it at the moment.

The Divine Comedy by Dante Aligheri. I’ve read about half of Inferno and I just… can’t. It’s in verse and I can’t focus on it. I want to read them though. Just not now.

Dodger by Terry Pratchett. I’ve read about maybe a third of this book and it was just not what I was expecting it to be so I stopped. I want to read it eventually, cause it was good, but I really don’t feel motivated to at the moment.

I’m going to stop at 5, but there are plenty more.

8. Grandma Got Runover by a Reindeer: Name a character death you still are mad about (warn people for spoilers! You can also use TV or movie deaths)

***SPOILERS FOR MISTBORN, SIX OF CROWS, HARRY POTTER, HUNGER GAMES, LORD OF SHADOWS***

I’m mad about a lot of deaths, okay? I’ll put headers for each book/series, so if you haven’t read it and don’t want spoilers, you can skip that paragraph.

MISTBORN

Kelsier. Why? Just why? I’m not over it, I get why he needed to die. But no. I’m so mad.

SIX OF CROWS

Matthias. That was so unnecessary and I am mad. I’m so mad. I can’t cope with it, I yelled at the book and i cried and I just don’t understand why.

HARRY POTTER

Hedwig and Dobby. It’s just not okay. Neither of them deserved to die and just why? A lot of people died in HP and most of them are tragic and heartbreaking but I can’t get over those two. They didn’t need to die.

HUNGER GAMES

My baby Finnick I am so mad. I can’t articulate how mad I am about that. I refuse. In my mind, he’s alive and happy with Annie they have tiny little children and a little fishing cabin.

Cinna. The best side character in YA literature. I can’t handle it. I am wounded.

LORD OF SHADOWS

I’m still mad about Livvy. I could not believe what I was reading. What is Ty going to do without her, I can’t even. My brain reuses to accept it. I feel like the next book will begin with Julian waking up from a nightmare and none of it is true.

Also, I can’t remember what book this was in, but I recently read it and it was this random rider on a horse and the rider did something stupid and the horse was like torn in half and it was so graphic. I suffered. I can’t for the life of me remember what book it was. But I know the MC was watching this scene unravel and I was so mad. Maybe it was Uprooted by Naomi Novik? I don’t know.

9. The malls are overly crowded with holiday shoppers: Name a series that has too many books in it/went on too long

Elemental Assassin series by Jennifer Estep. That series just goes on and on. I don’t even know how many books there are to date, but way too many. At least 15 and with no intention of stopping anytime soon. That series is not that good. It doesn’t need that many books.

Also, I’m sorry but I’m starting to think Throne of Glass should come to an end. I feel like one more book and then that’s it. I kind of think that Tower of Dawn was a bit unnecessary. I mean, I haven’t read it yet, so I can’t say for sure. But I think I would have been happier to just get a conclusion instead of that one. Because Empire of Storms declined in quality compared to the others and I want it to end while it’s still good.

10. The Grinch : Name a main character you HATE (No villians again!)

Mare Barrow from Glass Sword by Victoria Aveyard. I hate her so much, I want her to die and rid the world of her insufferable self-righteousness and self-importance.

Scarlett from Caraval by Stephanie Garber. She’s stupid and hypocritical and I’m just so done with her.

Snow from Stealing Snow by Danielle Paige. Ugh, another stupid, whiny and self-righteous one. I hate her.

These are the ones I really hate. I actually don’t often hate characters. Like, they may annoy me, but then I usually don’t care enough to really hate them. I’m just annoyed, but to mention a few: Lissa and Rose from Vampire Academy, Chaol from ToG, the girl (forgot her name) from The Sin Eater’s Daughter.

The Grinch Book Tag This tag was created by Sam @ Thoughts on Tomes and I think it's great because it gives me the opportunity to rant about stuff, so I'm down.

[devourer--of--books]

Callis was Gavaldon’s first witch gynecologist and here’s why

Okay so, in this post we’ll be discussing topics such as sex, contraception, and some religion in the context of it being used as a mean to control people sexually. 

If you’re younger than 13, honestly, this post isn’t for you. 

If you’re unlucky, like me, and your school didn't give you proper sex ed, I beg you to ask someone about it. Your older sibling, your mom, someone, okay? Ask google. It’s important stuff you need to know.

First of all, for composure’s sake, let’s all pretend I didn’t start thinking of this due to me writing a smut fic. At 4am, on my tablet notes. On my defense, tho, there’s an astonishing lack of E-rated fics on this fandom and someone ought do it, okay? Moving on.

So, where shall we start?

Let’s get context out of the way, welcome to my analyses, the actual headcanons are here, I promise, let me just bore you to death first:

The SGE book series overall is set in fantasy fairytale land (The Endless Woods), with the exception of Gavaldon, aka, the reader village. Due to this, there’s not really a time period liking the SGE world to ours, neither can it be presumed by the world building, as Soman mixes traditional medieval elements  with modern elements, which I know bothers some of you too, it ain’t just me, but nevermind that right now.

The point is, the arguments I’m making on this post are based on aspects mentioned in the books, but I’m also going to draw some information from the real world.

A big chunk of the first two books rely on the world the existence of a patriarchal structure in that world, as do some plot points during the rest of the series, but if I were to dive into that we’d be here all night. Talking about the Endless Woods social structure is very complicated, specially with the ‘no labels in the woods’ stuff combined with the misogyny. It’s messy. 

Thankfully for this post, we’ll only go into Gavaldon, because I feel things there are more… explicit (pun intended).

So here’s what we know of Gavaldon’s social structure pre-book 1:

It’s a decent sized village with no official government. There’s no political figure of power, such as prince or a mayor, as they eventually get in QFG. There also doesn’t seem to be an actual economic class distinction between the people of Gavaldon, other than mentions of beggars (pretty sure it’s just one tho, but I might be wrong). Everyone works and trades amongst themselves, with people having more or less the same things (except for Callis and Agatha, due to them being social outcasts). 

Who has power in Gavaldon?

The Elders Council. They make the laws, they are respected, they have influence, and therefore they have power. These dudes stopped people from selling food to Stefan’s family during book 2, and threatened his new family in front of everybody during book 3. And everyone in Gavaldon loved that man. Why are they powerful tho?

Power is born out of inequality. If you have what we have not, we follow where you lead. Gavaldon has no nobles and no bourgeoisie. Geez, I wonder which powerful class we’re missing.

The clergy.

Personally, I hold no love for the church. I’m an atheist, but, as this post is about SGE and not religion, I’ll try to be as neutral as possible, as the point is not to offend or disrespect anyone. When I mention ‘religion’ or ‘clergy’ from this point on, I’m talking about religion as an Institution. As in the Medieval Catholic Church (which if you don’t agree was at least kind of very evil, I don’t know if I want you reading my posts anyway, so feel free to leave).

Most likely, the members of Elders Council of Galvadon were linked to its Church, whatever religion they may have. I can’t see any reason why they would have so much influence otherwise. Who appoints new men to the positions once one of them dies? I’m gonna guess the remaining members of the Council. 

And no one said anything? For centuries. Okay. Corruption? Never heard of her.

Also, burning unmarried women as a way to solve problems claiming they were witches? Wonder where I’ve seen this before.

The fact they’re men, should get mentioned too, just in case you forgot. I bet there are women just as old and wise, if not wiser than the members of the council. Hm, wow why they’re not part of the council.

This hypothesis ties in with the fact that the education given to the kids is limited to the local school, which, given the lack of government and simplicity of work relations, is probably funded by the clergy. We don’t see any proof of this, but again, if we’re comparing Galvadon to a medieval village, it would make sense.

What is even taught at this school? Math and whatever language they speak there, sure, but like they have little to no history that we know of, geography would be pointless, there are no foreign languages, science who, and with these clowns running the village I’ll bet there is no philosophy or social studies and... Doesn’t matter, let’s not do this right now.

Callis briefly mentioned that all girls in Galvadon must marry before the end of their school education, or they are deemed witches. The Elders Council even chooses the matches, in case those aren’t naturally formed or if they disagree with pre-existing ones. These kids are what,15,16, maybe younger?

(this makes me so mad, you have no idea-)

ANYWAY. They form these child marriages, for... look I’m gonna presume is because of population reposition. They need an average of 2 kids per couple or they’ll have more people dying than people being born. Let’s just presume it’s because of this because if it’s because of some tradition stuff I’ll scream, okay?

Maybe they have a low life expectancy in Gavaldon (which is another evidence for the case that the elders are part of the clergy, they probably don’t work, so they live longer). 

So have them teenage girls poping them babies, I guess.

Also, a miracle they have survived this long, because the genetic pool for Gavaldon must be the worst ever, everyone is related to everyone, ew. At least, in theory, there would be no STIs.

In theory.

Ahem… During the middle ages, all forms of birth control tended to be frowned upon, at least here on the west, including coitus interruptus (aka, pull out method), (tho it depends of who was the pope at the time, some of them were cool with this one if you already had too many kids and was like super poor), because sex was supposed to be about procreating, so a marriage with no kids was ‘pointless’. 

(hear me raging in the background, this context is stressing me out, i just wanna get to the headcanons-)

We can assume this view is probably compatible with the Elders Council mindset, as they are marrying CHILDREN. 

If there were any available contraceptive methods, you can bet they weren’t teaching this stuff at school. They probably have no sex ed, and if they do, it’s going to be just about periods and vague stuff. Gotta love them church schools (I never went to one, officially, but honestly, I live in Brazil, what even is Secular State).

(“Don’t have sex before marriage, you’re gonna get pregnant and die”, - one of the teachers at the Galvadon school at some point, I bet)

Let me also mention that there is an specific Gavaldon law that states that if a girl is pregnant she is going to marry the boy who knocked her up. Which, specially in Vanessa’s case, makes no f-ing sense. Could she prove it was Stefan’s? Did she sent it to a DNA lab? If Stefan was the Elders favorite why would they not take his word?

I digress, let’s say Stefan didn’t deny sleeping with her and only said he was under a spell, which, hm, how dumb do you have to be to do that, it’s lying 101, Stefan c’mon, but okay, you do you.

So they are probably super “moral” in Galvadon. You know, the kind of moral who just swipes stuff under the rug. Like, yeah, Stefan you’re now doomed to marrying Vanessa, but ain’t nobody gonna say a thing if you cheat on her as long as you don’t do it during plain daylight.

(The amount of closeted gays in Gavaldon is probably astronomical, can you imagine?)

And then you have Callis. Whom I think is probably responsible for the introduction of birth control in Gavaldon. We have arrived at the headcanons. Hear me out:

After Stefan saved Callis, she was deemed a witch. She’s a ‘witch’ doctor for the town. Only the most desperate of people seek her out. 

That means she normally wouldn’t get a lot of patients. Like, Idk about you, but Gavaldon doesn’t seem big enough for her to have people looking for her everyday. And she probably had to feed Agatha somehow.

But, while her being a doctor for normal diseases wasn’t really working all that well, everyone knew she had a hand in Vanessa’s miracle child. So ‘infertile’ women and women who had been getting sickly during pregnancies start looking for her, asking for her to help them. 

Callis obviously doesn’t use her magic, but as she can’t say she used magic for Vanessa, she gives them generally good advice about herbs and stuff they can add to their food to make it ‘more likely’, aka stuff that reduces stress, telling them how to eat better, stuff they should avoid, etc. She’s no big expert, but at least in the Endless Woods they had sex ed and she was witch, she just knows stuff.

So she becomes this sort of witch gynecologist for Gavaldon’s desperate women.

It works for a while, but then people eventually share these tips amongst themselves to avoid going to see her. Then, it’s back to slightly starving herself so baby Agatha could eat.

One day, a teenage girl arrives at her doorstep in the middle of the night, trading food for her help. If she could ‘make people more fertile’, she could surely make them miscarriage. Maybe this girl got pregnant by sleeping with someone the elders didn’t aprove for her to marry, maybe it was something else a bit darker, but we won’t talk about how that could be common, given you could literally force someone to marry you if they had your child.

Callis panics, because she wasn't ‘making anyone more fertile’ really, she was making them healthier and therefore more likely to have a healthy kid. If she were to tell her to do the reverse of what she told the others, not only it wouldn’t work, but it would actually harm the girl’s health.

At first she’s like, “I can’t help you…”, but then she hears baby Agatha crying, poor thing, so hungry all the time. So Callis decides, “you know what, might as well”.

There’s probably many potions made with magic one could take to not have a baby in the Woods. Even ones that cause abortions with no side effects or danger to the woman. But there also more natural ways, ones that maybe aren’t 100% effective, but would work, tho it had some side effects.

So Callis, makes her a potion to take. For real life comparisons, let’s say she used Queen Anne’s Lace, which works a bit like Plan B. The girl is thankful, and goes on her way.

Soon enough, everybody knows Callis can do these potions. You have girls sneaking to Graves Hill in the middle of the night to get help in exchange for food and while the elders know something is fishy, they can’t do much anything about it. They ask Callis what is up with that and she’s like ‘nope, just ya know, helping them have babies, plan b who’.

She tries to introduce a variation of the potion, one that acts as birth control, because it would stop people from being irresponsable all the time, but the Plan B one is the one every girl wants, because well, it’s easier. You can be unsafe and then take a potion and it’s fine. Soon, it’s not just girls. There’s full grown women there too, who should really know better.

She is pissed, so she says she won’t make them any more potions unless people stop being so careless.

Someone tries to make a knock-off potion, but it ends tragically, because people don’t really know what Callis puts in it. And well… you know what looks a bit like Queen Anne’s Lace?

F-ing Water Hemlock, that’s what.

After that incident, people listen to Callis when it came to ingesting stuff. And thus, birth control culture is born in Gavaldon. Other people started trying out other things to avoid dealing with Callis, like animal-based condoms, pull-out method and inserting acacia gum into your vagina before you had sex,but she had a good clientele overall.

The Elders? Pissed. But since they couldn’t just prove this was her fault, they just kept on hating on her from a distance.

After Agatha has her first period, Callis sits her down and pretty much gives her the talk. Agatha doesn’t really see a point to it, boys are gross, but she listens nonetheless. 

Callis gives Agatha the best sex ed homeclass ever, you can bet she will teach her correct anatomy, debunk myths the school told her about both periods and her own body and even promised her to teach her how to make the birth control potion once she got older.

Again Agatha doesn’t see a point, but okay.

When Agatha comes home with Tedros, years later tho. Callis is... worried.

She tries to ask Agatha if she’s being safe but her daughter just... stops functioning. Blushing like crazy. 

 (“We just kissed, like, once, mom.”)

That being said… Callis doesn’t live long enough to teach her how to make the potion.

So when Tedros and Agatha’s relationship starts to progress (hm… if you wanna read something about it, maybe wait a couple of days, I might or my might not have a sin fic in the works, it wouldn’t be one of my posts if it had no self-promotion, I’m my own sponsor after all) she’s unsure of who to ask about this.

And it makes her extra sad about her mother’s death, so that’s great.

I honestly don’t know who she would ask. If you have any ideas, please tell me. Because I’m kind of inclined to think that maybe Merlin might have predicted this and handed a recipe to her as a semi-joke, but idk. Maybe Uma?

But yes, Callis was totally Gavaldon’s first witch gynecologist. And after they made Stefan mayor, I want people to remember her for the absolute legend she was, okay?